Bully behavior from CMs

Thank you for understanding. I keep tending to blame myself, probably just to feel a sense of control. I always feel like I'm doing the wrong thing, or overreacting in these situations. I think if Disney wants to keep their reputation of being a safe place for those with special needs, they need to teach their CMs not to provoke special needs people into meltdowns. I'm not asking for everyone with special needs to be treated with kid gloves. It's better for everyone, that they don't create a frightening situation. Maybe I should e-mail Disney about this. There still is the stereotype that only children are on the Autism Spectrum, or that the adults who are can handle themselves.

One of the reasons I posted this here is CMs think they can get by with certain behavior towards adults, that they can't towards children. Maybe part of it is the notion that adults shouldn't be able to enjoy a park aimed at children, if they don't treat every child like gold. This is more true for childless women, who are supposed to be the go to for all parents, like if you're female and don't looooovvveee kids you must be a freak. I don't hate kids, I hate bad parenting. I also think I should be able to visit Disney parks, without feeling I have to gush over every little darling, just to avoid bullying for not conforming to the stereotype. Honestly, this is because maybe the CM heard or saw me talking negatively about kids, and wanted to teach me how it feels to be glared at.

I don't want to act like a bully, I also don't want to be torn into because I happened to be in the area where a unsupervised kid was hurt. I have an experience of being bullied by parents, for asking them to try and quiet their child down politely. I have been told if I don't like it I should stay at home. I think all of us feel when being an adult at Disney, we have to walk on eggshells not to offend a child or parents. If we make a wrong look at a kid, then a CM assumes we're a bully. Never occurs, we have to behave defensively to see that parents don't behave offensively to us. If the child is gone after being glared at, isn't that better then a parent attacking a total stranger, because something happened to their darling in their area.

I'm just tired of feeling bullied by parents, as are many people asking for child free spaces. Adults should be able to enjoy Disneyworld, without fearing the same kind of self righteous "I'm going to teach you to look at children with anything but a smile!" retaliation one would expect of an entitled parent these days. I'm tired of being bullied as if being a childless adult, I should know to stay home and never participate in childed society, until I have a child. This is why children are born to less than ideal parents, because our society has relegated those without children, particularly women, as second class. I don't know what to do anymore. Guess I should give up on the hope of doing right by others, because no matter what I do someone will find wrong in it. I just wish Disney could learn to respect their adult childless visitors, as much as they respect the childed ones.

I don't know what to believe, I guess I'm just trying to understand why this keeps happening to me. I must be doing something wrong. It is well known, that bullies do seek out those that are more vulnerable to their hurtful behavior. I also said repeatedly in my first post the majority of CMs are not bullies. If a cast member had an anxiety problem, and couldn't manage crowd control, with the thousands of people Disney employs, surely they could find someone more competent for the job.

*shrugs* Guess with all the constant focus on how parents are constantly under stress, seems like the feelings of those without kids don't matter. I thought since this was a site for adults traveling to Disneyworld without kids you would understand. I have learned something, I shouldn't worry so much what parents think of me, because for many of them an adult without children can never do right.

Yes I have Asperger's Syndrome. No, I do not fall in the romanticized stereotype of people with Asperger's Syndrome. I don't "live in my own world." and it seems more NTs find it hard to understand how to behave than those who are Neurodiverse. Sorry if this seems like an attack or something, it comes off as infantilizing sometimes, to hear you must think the world is a strange and mysterious place. Like those with Neurodiversity are "forever children" unable to understand the adult world.

I understand I'm not that unusual, I'm just unusual enough to be an annoyance to entitled parents, who tend to seem shocked that their baby's cries can hurt other people's ears. I also don't know where you got the idea I thought you were all meanies. It's just my personal experience, that when parents are told anything less than sparkling praise for themselves and their children, that they tend to act very defensive. Turning a situation that could be easily resolved by an apology, into one of confrontation. If you dislike my viewing the world as it is, I'll leave. I just find it hard regardless of my Asperger's Syndrome, to find how to communicate with parents. It's almost as if having a child, changes your brain into a neurodiverse state.

I apologize for the misunderstanding. You should visit Aspies For Freedom, they're a site that doesn't believe those on the Autism Spectrum need to be cured. Where as Wrongplanet once believed that, but sold out to Autism Speaks. As far as my views, not all people on the Autism Spectrum are the same and have the same views. I don't feel like I was born on the wrong planet, I guess I'm more of a realist than most. I do feel that respect is a two way street, and that many parents forget that. Of course, as I should've predicted it's all about how I need to change, as parents are doing their best and I have no idea how hard it is to carry a crying child to the washroom or outside the restaurant until it calms down. Just as you don't understand how hard it is to function in a society that says, if you are bothered by a screaming child in public, you should leave.

Here's the thing most parents don't understand when it comes to sensory sensitivity. It was not a choice to have it. In many cases parents choose to have children. It's very frustrating living in a society that has more concern for those who had made the decision to have children, but complain when their child cries that they have to try to quiet it or remove it. I had no choice when it came to being born with sound sensitivity. I am told I should wear earplugs 24/7, because it's too much to expect that people could understand that people can experience pain differently. It is very difficult living in a child centric society, with a condition that causes you pain when a child is loud, since it's expected that you ignore it, or you'll be talked down to. I guess with more awareness things will change.

As far as my choosing to go to Disneyworld where I knew there would be children, I knew what to expect from parents. I didn't expect CMs to not have the knowledge that acting aggressively in a crowd situation might cause panic in some people. It seems the majority of parents who go to Disneyworld know how to behave their kids. They know what a pacifier is, and how to use it. A skill that many parents where I live seem to have forgotten.

So all in all, what I'm saying is I'm tired of being told I must change, because many parents feel they're above everyone else and shouldn't have to. They demand everyone must understand them, and if they run into a person like me, all they need to do is confirm I'm not a parent, so they can swiftly ignore me. To many parents it seems to be a you're with us, or against us black and white thinking. If you're not a parent, your feelings don't matter. This is why I feel there is no talking to parents as a childless adult. I'm told, "Oh, you don't have a child." in a way that suggests if you're without children you don't matter. I don't feel I'm on the wrong planet, just that I happen to live in a country, that says parents matter more than everyone else. If you don't understand that, or have a condition that might cause parents to have to put a bit more effort forward, you must change.

Thanks for understanding crazycatperson. You have no idea how many forums I was thrown off, just for not constantly praising parents. I understand it's not always easy being a parent, but when you have a sensory defensiveness to sound, few people are willing to acknowledge it. There has been backlash against the parental entitlement, because outside of bars and clubs adults without children must accept children or leave. I've been treated rudely just for asking not to sit near kids in a restaurant. Since almost all restaurants are now family restaurants, you go in there as an adult without kids and ask to sit away from children, you're treated like you made the same request at Chuck E Cheese.

I can understand there is a view that Disneyworld is for kids, and they should enjoy their vacation. I'm just tired in general how it's always parents first, and parents should be praised just for being a parent. I'm tired of being fearful of mentioning my condition, as in most cases it's seen as just being burdensome to parents. As if it's not real, or I just dislike kids. If there was the same respect from parents that they demand from everyone, towards others, people wouldn't be asking for child free flights and restaurants. The thing is if you ask a parent to please quiet their child, it is likely they will snap back, "Are you a parent?" then if you aren't, go off on you for judging them. Is it that hard to say sorry? Is it more important to protect one's ego as a parent, then to try to descalate a situation that could be confrontational and upsetting to their child? Wouldn't it be better, to teach their children people are different, and they might not always be able to tolerate the things others can? Why is it, everyone has to change, except the parents?

Well I learned alot from being at Disneyworld. Like if yu give the parents a they'll feel you're approving of them. I find particularily the entitled parents, are of the same mind set as their small child, so you just have to keep smiling at themin hopes this will keep them from throwing an adult tantrum. It might be that I live in a relatively upper class suburb, which is the evironment entitle parents thrive in. Either way, I'm more at peace in knowing I'm not doing wrong. I'm just surrounded by entitle parents who think the world should stop for them.

I'm not fearful of revealing my condition, as other people are either ignorant or uncompassionate about it. It only takes being lectured at a few times, to learn it's just more troublesome to try and educate. As far as kids having possible neurological issues, I'm well aware. I'm also well aware that people can be understanding when a child has neurological issues, because it seems people believe Autism Spectrum issues are something one grows out of, or that adults should know how to deal with it. Probably due to Autism Speaks ads, portraying Autism Spectrum disorders as a disease not a difference.

I understand to kids the noise they make is part of their enjoyment, which is why it's selfish of parents to bring their children to a restaurant where they will have to go against their nature and be quiet. Of course, seeing as in most cases suggesting a parent can do wrong is forbidden, the parents are allowed to make their unreasonable demands at quiet restaurants. Nobody wants to risk losing family business, by telling parents they aren't welcome with kids, because the parents will turn it into an issue of child discrimination rather than being a big boy or girl, and realizing restaurants tend not to be an environment for small children to begin with.

So what we have now is a situation where adults are fighting back, against entitled parents thinking they should be able to drag their children everywhere they want to go. I think the problem is telling parents they should try to keep their kid quiet, because they know they're doing wrong by bringing their kid to a place where they need to be quiet. Instead of taking their kid to someplace they would enjoy, like Chuck E Cheese, the parents have pitched their tantrums to where now restaurants that declare themselves a family restaurant, treat adults who want quiet at a restaurant as unreasonable.

I live my life, having a condition that burdens parents with the task of actual parenting. To stop thinking of only themselves, and to consider what would beright for their kids. Restaurants who want to cater to adults aren't discriminating against children, they are saying they don't want to cater to entitled parents. These cowardly parents then hide behind their own kids, instead of realizing that having a child does not entitle you to behave as one. In fact I've seen children far more mature than these entitled parents. It's like these children have to cope with being raised by a childish parent. Why is our society supporting that? Why do we seem to have the lowest expectations of parents, and the highest amount of complaints from other countries, for having notoriously badly behaved children?

We need to stop treating entitled parents, like they're children. If they wish to behave like a 2 year old, then we should discipline them like 2 year olds. It's already starting, brave restaurant owners are teaching these entitled parents what the word "no" means, and to respect it.