Family Feud...Theres a storm on its way..

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The Watchmaker's picture
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Family Feud...Theres a storm on its way..

Good Morning Folks..I haven't been posting recently due to the fact that we aren't returning to WDW this year.. sad Saying that, we have booked two weeks on our favourite greek island..Now to our dilemma..My wife's younger brother and wife and family live in U.A.E...We are the only relatives that haven't yet visited them, to be honest, my wife and I have no interest on spending lots of money to visit a country that doesn't appeal to any of us..So at this moment in time, her mum and dad are over there for three weeks and have phoned us several times to tell us how great this place is..Now there is a big family reunion in August ( everyone including relatives from U.A.E. will be there ) and I know that the subject of why we haven't visited the land of camels and tall buildings will be brought up..My wife has told me to calm down,but I can see me exploding during dinner, and giving our views..Especially that now we are starting to plan our Disney vacation for 2016...My in laws are puzzled why we are going back to WDW and not visiting Dubai..I have told them in the past how we love everything that a Disney vacation has to offer,but it falls on deaf ears...So friends..How do I tactfully go about this problem..?...Without exploding... mad

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I understand exactly where you are coming from, I have for a few years had my holiday choices questioned and the countless 'but why would you not want to?' Simple answer is that we are all different people and if we all wanted to go to WDW every year the busy day guide would be a nightmare.

My only advice for not exploding is to find a good reason not to go (heat, time, money) and politely stick to it, you are doing nothing wrong by making a choice and I find that as long as I remember that it's Ok to want different things then I don't get as angry.

Maybe offer up a different reunion destination, I have friends in UAE that mention most people leave during the overly hot summer months?

Good luck on all counts though

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My entire extended family lives away from me so this is something my family has struggled with for a long time. I've just worked to not allow the guilt to sneak in. We've managed to handle it by mixing in a little family here, a little vacation there. Then again we don't have family THAT far away. I wouldn't be willing to go to the UAE right now either. To me the risks far out weigh the benefits.

For me it would go something like "We really love all of you and would love to be able to come see you. However, we're not comfortable traveling there at this time. Our decision has been made and continuing to talk about it will do no good." Then those who hadn't heard the initial speech or who missed the first memo get a "We've made the decision not to go and don't want to discuss it." Anyone who starts singing it's praises gets a nod, a smile and a "I'm so glad you like/liked it." After that it's a smile, a deep breath and a walk away.

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I would just tell them that you want your visit to be extra special and that as soon as Disneyland Dubai opens you'll make the trip.

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I would just look 'em in the eye when they question your plans, smile, and just say "Everyone has their thing - thanks for asking!" And just keep smiling. But in the back of your mind all the lovely not nice words you are really thinking filter around, which makes you smile.

Or something along the lines of "You know, at this point in our lives, we have a pretty clear idea of our perfect vacation destination. Now enough a' yer havering, ya bas!!" laugh

I'm too old to do things I have no interest in doing, especially when it comes to those types of things.

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I've never had any desire to go to Dubai either - although my cousin used to live there and I have only ever heard good things about it. Invite them to visit you instead. It's hard for someone to be critical of your vacation decisions if you offer to open up your home to them with great hospitality.

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You only have one life and you should spend it doing the things that you want to do and enjoy. Like Jeff C said "everyone has their thing" and your thing just happens to be Disney. And not Dubai. mickey

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I am far too old and stubborn to explain myself to anyone other than my husband. In your position I would tell my Inlaws thanks for the invite, but we aren't interested.

As far as them not understanding/questioning why you love Disney, who cares! Will their opinions keep you from going to Disney? I sure hope not! If you don't try to explain your decisions to people who will never agree with you anyway, there won't be any reason for you to get upset.

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I'm with most others. I don't see where the problem is, if you don't want to visit there, nuff said! I surely wouldn't spend the money to visit someplace or somewhere I was not interested in, relatives or not.

The Watchmaker's picture
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Much appreciated everyone..Especially KenJ...Love that answer.. laugh ...Its my wife I feel sorry for because she knows I can be pretty much right to the point,instead of waffling on about " Yeh, we will make it one day" ...Roll on August for the showdown..

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I've been to the Middle East, and to paraphrase a certain individual - 'Sand, it gets everywhere'...!

Seriously, I've never had a wish to visit an area that is highly restrictive in what you can do and when. It seems to suit certain people, but it's not for me - it's too hot, too dusty, too restrictive, the laws there are difficult to work out in that you can never work out who you are/were insulting...My dad worked in the area for over 10 years and we only visited once in that time (my mum visited twice) and even he was overly cautious about accidental law breaking and the lack of anything to do between 1-4pm when everything shuts due to the heat.

Just be up front about it...heat and dust is not necessarily for everyone and you don't have to explain yourself. If you do, then they'll never understand anyway - not everyone is a Disney fan or appreciates why we want to go there instead of to a hot sandpit! Laughing out loud

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The Watchmaker's picture
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Sid Man wrote:
I've been to the Middle East, and to paraphrase a certain individual - 'Sand, it gets everywhere'...!

Seriously, I've never had a wish to visit an area that is highly restrictive in what you can do and when. It seems to suit certain people, but it's not for me - it's too hot, too dusty, too restrictive, the laws there are difficult to work out in that you can never work out who you are/were insulting...My dad worked in the area for over 10 years and we only visited once in that time (my mum visited twice) and even he was overly cautious about accidental law breaking and the lack of anything to do between 1-4pm when everything shuts due to the heat.

Just be up front about it...heat and dust is not necessarily for everyone and you don't have to explain yourself. If you do, then they'll never understand anyway - not everyone is a Disney fan or appreciates why we want to go there instead of to a hot sandpit! Laughing out loud

Cheers..Love you thoughts..

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Look...my family did this to me last year when my hubs and I went to Disney instead of a family pilgrimage to Boaz AL. I basically said, sorry, Dave and I are going to Disney. They kept trying to poke and prod and bring it up. I finally just said to them - I would just prefer you don't talk about it and stop vacation-shaming me. I am an adult (49 yrs old) and I am going to do what I want to do.

En Mass they backed off. For some reason I have a family of passive aggressive bullies. so I stood up to them and walked away.

Just stick to your guns. Airplanes and highways and trains travel BOTH WAYS to and from - if they really wanted to see you they can come to you. I would not spend that kind of money to travel to a destination you don't want to visit.

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Lol....Ok..I get the drift... laugh ...The good thing is they come every year for approx three weeks and stay at my inlaws..Last year we all went out for a meal and out of the blue my wife's brother asked me across the table if this would be our final trip to
Disney and I said I hope not..Then my father in law started by saying " You don't know what your missing " ...I was clenching my fists about to thump the table...I've told my wife when the subject comes up this year ( and it will ) Im going to put this topic to bed, once and for all...Funnily enough, they are considering leaving Abu Dhabi after seven years staying there due to different factors..I'm hoping they settle down in Florida... clapping

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The Watchmaker wrote:
Funnily enough, they are considering leaving Abu Dhabi after seven years staying there due to different factors..I'm hoping they settle down in Florida... clapping

And preferably in the Central Florida, Orlando area.. awesome

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The Watchmaker wrote:
Lol....Ok..I get the drift... laugh ...The good thing is they come every year for approx three weeks and stay at my inlaws..Last year we all went out for a meal and out of the blue my wife's brother asked me across the table if this would be our final trip to
Disney and I said I hope not..Then my father in law started by saying " You don't know what your missing " ...I was clenching my fists about to thump the table...I've told my wife when the subject comes up this year ( and it will ) Im going to put this topic to bed, once and for all...Funnily enough, they are considering leaving Abu Dhabi after seven years staying there due to different factors..I'm hoping they settle down in Florida... clapping

awesome

I understand this situation all to well. My cousin lived in Las Vegas for about 5 years and as much as I missed having her on the east coast, I never visited her there in all that time. Although there's never been pressure, per se, from my family, but I felt bad about not going. For the first three years, I still hadn't ever flown eek , so that was an easy reason not to make the trip. I would have loved to have seen her, but Las Vegas is about the least interesting place in the world to me. She transferred to Texas two years ago and thankfully, she recently accepted a job in Martha's Vineyard, so that's a much more doable weekend getaway for me! Also, she's coming with me to the Food & Wine Festival this fall! clapping

So maybe even if your family doesn't move to central Florida, they'll at least move someplace that you find at least a little bit appealing. Maybe they'll move to Hong Kong or Paris or Tokyo...then you can visit them and still go to Disney wink

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I agree with KenJ's answer!! Good luck with that!

We don't have family very far off, so we haven't had to deal with this problem. But, I would still choose WDW over places that I can't or won't pay to visit just because relatives are there. Life is too short to not enjoy where you vacation. After all, it is your vacation, so you should be able to choose where to go.

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The Watchmaker wrote:
....I've told my wife when the subject comes up this year ( and it will ) Im going to put this topic to bed, once and for all...

I would suggest wearing a pair of ears during their entire visit yay

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JeffC wrote:
The Watchmaker wrote:
....I've told my wife when the subject comes up this year ( and it will ) Im going to put this topic to bed, once and for all...

I would suggest wearing a pair of ears during their entire visit yay

awesome

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December 2013: 10th Anniversary, 1st DVC Stay | April 2014: Birthday on the Boardwalk | May 2014: Star Wars Weekend, Navigating WDW with a wheelchair | August 2014: Villains Unleashed | September/October 2014: MNSSHP, F&W, Tower of Terror 10-miler | March/April 2015: Disneyland and California Coastal Cruise | November 2015: Wine & Dine Half, Food & Wine, 1st Disney Cruise | February 2016: Presidential Classic Gymnastics Meet | March 2016: "Work" Trip, Tours, F&G Festival | April 2016: Conference at Disneyland | Fall 2016: Festive Fall Fun | January 2017: Festival of the Arts | May 2017: AbD Backstage Magic | July 2017: AbD San Francisco | Sorry I had to give up doing trip reports. Too many time commitments right now.

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JeffC wrote:
The Watchmaker wrote:
....I've told my wife when the subject comes up this year ( and it will ) Im going to put this topic to bed, once and for all...

I would suggest wearing a pair of ears during their entire visit yay

Hold on, wait a minute, you don't wear ears all the time anyway Jeff? What gives?

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MrHub wrote:

laugh awesome

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Oh my goodness. Best post in a long time! laugh

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Mr Hub is this your very first selfie!? rolling rolling

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I'm sorry, did someone say something? I was taking a shower.....

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oHIo's picture
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OMG I didnt think Mr Hub's selfie could be topped!! But Jeff that is awesome. rolling rolling rolling

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rolling rolling rolling rolling
Mr Hub and JeffC, you guys are a riot!

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laugh laugh laugh awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome rolling rolling rolling

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OMG sorry MrHub, but JeffC won that round!

rolling rolling rolling rolling rolling rolling

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Trip Reports:
December 2013: 10th Anniversary, 1st DVC Stay | April 2014: Birthday on the Boardwalk | May 2014: Star Wars Weekend, Navigating WDW with a wheelchair | August 2014: Villains Unleashed | September/October 2014: MNSSHP, F&W, Tower of Terror 10-miler | March/April 2015: Disneyland and California Coastal Cruise | November 2015: Wine & Dine Half, Food & Wine, 1st Disney Cruise | February 2016: Presidential Classic Gymnastics Meet | March 2016: "Work" Trip, Tours, F&G Festival | April 2016: Conference at Disneyland | Fall 2016: Festive Fall Fun | January 2017: Festival of the Arts | May 2017: AbD Backstage Magic | July 2017: AbD San Francisco | Sorry I had to give up doing trip reports. Too many time commitments right now.

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laugh laugh laugh awesome You guys are awesome!

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JeffC wrote:
I'm sorry, did someone say something? I was taking a shower.....

That's better! awesome just checking. biggrin

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rolling rolling rolling

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