Family being judgemental about cost

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lolastardust's picture
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Family being judgemental about cost

This is a weird one, but does anyone else have rude family/friends who always ask how much your Disney holidays cost, and then give you lectures on budgeting?

I was feeling super excited about my holiday until my husband's sister phoned up and acted all judgey on the phone, asking how much it was costing, and saying we should be using our money for mortgage, car and family. That would be fair enough if we DIDN'T pay our mortgage and bills, but everything always gets paid on time, and this holiday is being paid for with savings we've put aside.

I'm just feeling a bit blah now. Like I was so excited to be going back, and now I feel like I'm doing something wrong. The only thing I can think is that she's jealous, as she lives in a more expensive area, and doesn't have as much disposable income.

It DOES cost us a lot to go because we fly internationally, and we're going for two weeks so that we get the full benefit of flying that far, but that's why we only visit every two years or so.

I just don't get why people need to be so negative about something that brings so much joy to so many people. By the end of the phone call, Bob had practically talked her into taking a Disney holiday, and she was saying she'll need to convince her husband.

Gah, I think I just needed to rant. But hell, we've worked hard for this and we deserve to enjoy it.

Anyone else have to deal with 'Disney shamers'? How do you get them to back off? mad

crazycatperson's picture
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Of course you are under no obligation to respond to questions about your finances and frankly well within your rights to be offended by such rude questions. I'd just say what you wrote - your bills are all paid on time and you have the extra money for the trip so what is the issue? They might keep judging, so repeat as needed until they finally butt out.

Brinbunny's picture
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I get holiday shamers in general, I really feel your pain. As I travel alone and like you fly internationally I get 'is that not a waste?'

You work hard, Eloise is loved and get everything she needs and more, Bob works hard and how you spend your money is your choice, not theirs, some people would prefer to have new cars every few years, some spend lots on home improvements, you spend yours on Disney holidays, which btw are ways of making magical memories that will last you and Eloise a lifetime, who can put a price on a happy stable family full of love and fun???

I personally now talk in general terms when it comes to money, especially after yesterday when I learnt that people really do get obsessed with what others have.

Enjoy planning your trip because I want to see those photos muchlove

wdwizbest's picture
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Seriously? As if it's anybody's flippin' business. Life is short, do what you want and by absolutely no means feel guilty about it. It's not like you're going to Vegas getting drunk and gambling several thousand dollars away. You are a lot nicer than I am, I would tell them in no uncertain terms it was none of their business.
There are some people that go around trying to steal your joy, usually because they are unhappy themselves. I suspect they know how happy going to WDW makes you. I deal with absurd people by being even more absurd myself. Tell them you have more expendable income because you're selling drugs on the side, meth, crack, etc. In fact you are not really going to WDW, you are going to Florida to get more drugs. Then ask them if they are interested in making a purchase. Ha! Bet that will shut them up.

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lolastardust's picture
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Haha great responses everyone! I don't know what is wrong with some people. I have a reasonable mortgage, a second-hand car, and everyone is fed and clothed. We never miss a bill payment. People totally do just want to stamp on our joy. Just needed to get my rant out, as I knew you'd all understand how much fun Disney is and that it's not something we can do everyday, so we just do it when we can afford it! laugh

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I'd tell the family member to go jump in a loch. Everyone spends their time and money differently. I say do what you like as often as you can while you can. Life is just too short.

JMed's picture
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You know my thoughts on this one as I replied on Facebook. Pretty sad that with all that goes on in this world, our "friends" and family have to throw in their two cents about things that really are none of their business.

I have friends whom I have asked several times to go on trips (not just Disney, even overnights to Myrtle Beach) and they complain and bitch about money and time away from home and such. Now that I don't ask them anymore I get more and more comments about our choice of how we spend our money.

You be you! Y'all are doing great!!!

muchlove muchlove muchlove

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JoAnn C's picture
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What you do with your money is your business and no one elses. Don't let them get you down about the trip.

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Kristen K.'s picture
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People can be crass, it's just as simple as that. Don't let this discourage you at all, it's your money and you work hard for it. That means that you get to decide what to do with it. Not everyone understands the importance of leisure time. Here in the US there's this popular thought that you must constantly work yourself to death and acquire as much "stuff" as humanly possible to be successful. That if you take time for yourself that you are somehow deficient. It's a bunch of bull poop. Leisure time is incredibly important to the human mind and body, we need down time, we need play in order to refresh ourselves for the next period of real work.

You'll never have a lack of people telling you what they think you should do, the trick is to always know that you are acting for the best interest of your family.

wdwizbest's picture
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Going to WDW is a very personal and private thing for me. The only person I share it with is my wife (and those who share my obsession online anonymously). When I go to WDW I don't tell people where I'm going, if they ask I say "Florida". This isn't because I'm embarrassed. It's because invariably you'll get the idiot that says "why are you going to WDW, you don't have kids..., why do you want to go to...etc. etc.". Most all of us here have heard this repeatedly, especially if you are a middle aged man. Quite honestly it really isn't anyone's business. Most people do not understand that special feeling that most of us get only at WDW, and they never will. I don't feel like trying to explain it to them or defend my choices.

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Trust me Lolastardust there will always be people who just don't get it and want to tell you how to spend or not spend your money. Like everyone else has said it is nobody's business but and your husband's. There are people that I work with who don't understand why I like to go to Disney. They will never understand because they just want to lie around the pool and drink for their whole entire vacation. Thanks but no thanks. Had someone tell me that at one inclusive resort it has "7" restaurants. Woohoo! Give me Disney any day of the week!!!

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Gee don't let them take away all the fun and happiness on your trip. And yes I get some if that and like you all our bills are paid and we save for our trips so I always tell them we pay all our bills and have food on the table and I don't tell you how to spend your 'saved' money so can I get the same in return? I may have to say that twice but for my family and friends that question on how we spend our saved money that usually works.

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alicemouse's picture
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All the time. We go a lot and I can always tell when people are jealous when they ask how we can afford to go so much. Well, for starters, we are paying for a family of 2. The last person to ask me this was a family of 7. Also, Benn works at a job with a hideous commute to make more money and I run two businesses and have a side gig. We don't spend money on partying, smoking, overpriced coffees, and other things that people habitually waste money at without thinking about it. We don't have cable TV at home. Traveling is more important to us than having/ doing those things, so we prioritize it in our budget. You're the one who has to be happy with the choices you make. People who judge your choices usually do so because they aren't happy with the ones they've made.

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Allie's picture
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alicemouse wrote:
All the time. We go a lot and I can always tell when people are jealous when they ask how we can afford to go so much. Well, for starters, we are paying for a family of 2. The last person to ask me this was a family of 7. Also, Benn works at a job with a hideous commute to make more money and I run two businesses and have a side gig. We don't spend money on partying, smoking, overpriced coffees, and other things that people habitually waste money at without thinking about it. We don't have cable TV at home. Traveling is more important to us than having/ doing those things, so we prioritize it in our budget. You're the one who has to be happy with the choices you make. People who judge your choices usually do so because they aren't happy with the ones they've made.

You already know my thoughts on this Lauren, but Holly also brings up a great point. We don't have cable either and don't often go out to eat at home. I'd rather eat frozen pizzas and be able to travel. Everyone chooses to spend their money the way they want to. Do you shame her for spending so much on her mortgage? I bet not. So she really needs to mind her own business. This subject gets me riled up everytime laugh

pauljriley's picture
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We found that for us, we were fighting our own guilt over the cost.

We had been 7 years previous when it was just the four of us and had done the sensible budget route. This however meant staying offsite and having the mindset that we had to squeeze as much into our stay as possible. Though we did enjoy our stay we found the pressures that we were putting ourselves under resulted in the kids becoming more and more reserved, and not enjoying the experience as much as we hoped they would.

Seven years on, with our numbers up to 6, and the oldest two now firmly in their teenage years, we had to fight with the desire to ensure that they had as much freedom as was possible, whilst not blowing a massive amount on the vacation, in the end we realised that if we were going to do this then we should focus on giving ourselves the most stress free time that we could, or not do it at all.

So with that in mind, as well as the size of our party, we realized that it would not be something that could be done realistically on a budget, and we glad we didn't try to. We had decided that Disney is not something we'll try and do every single year, our pockets aren't that deep, rather we prefer to make a big thing out of it, and hope that we can afford to do it again in four or so years time when the party size will be back down to just the four of us, and the options to make a big do out of it are much broader.

Ignore the negative comments, and enjoy every minute of the experience.

Allie's picture
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pauljriley wrote:
We found that for us, we were fighting our own guilt over the cost.

We had been 7 years previous when it was just the four of us and had done the sensible budget route. This however meant staying offsite and having the mindset that we had to squeeze as much into our stay as possible. Though we did enjoy our stay we found the pressures that we were putting ourselves under resulted in the kids becoming more and more reserved, and not enjoying the experience as much as we hoped they would.

Seven years on, with our numbers up to 6, and the oldest two now firmly in their teenage years, we had to fight with the desire to ensure that they had as much freedom as was possible, whilst not blowing a massive amount on the vacation, in the end we realised that if we were going to do this then we should focus on giving ourselves the most stress free time that we could, or not do it at all.

So with that in mind, as well as the size of our party, we realized that it would not be something that could be done realistically on a budget, and we glad we didn't try to. We had decided that Disney is not something we'll try and do every single year, our pockets aren't that deep, rather we prefer to make a big thing out of it, and hope that we can afford to do it again in four or so years time when the party size will be back down to just the four of us, and the options to make a big do out of it are much broader.

Ignore the negative comments, and enjoy every minute of the experience.

Where did you stay with your party or 6, if you don't mind me asking? We have 6 of us when we travel with my in-laws and we usually do a two-bedroom suite but are always looking for recommendations.

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Allie wrote:
Where did you stay with your party or 6, if you don't mind me asking? We have 6 of us when we travel with my in-laws and we usually do a two-bedroom suite but are always looking for recommendations.

Allie, do you do villas or the regular 2 bedroom suites? I absolutely love the 2 bedroom villas, sometimes I even book them when there are just 4 of us. Having all that room, the full kitchen and the laundry is fantastic.

ScottFL's picture
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If I can offer a different perspective. While I agree that it's no one's business and they should keep their opinions to themselves, you can't control other people's actions. So - why do you care what their opinion is? That you can control. Let them spout off and then ignore them.

Allie's picture
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Kristen K. wrote:
Allie wrote:
Where did you stay with your party or 6, if you don't mind me asking? We have 6 of us when we travel with my in-laws and we usually do a two-bedroom suite but are always looking for recommendations.

Allie, do you do villas or the regular 2 bedroom suites? I absolutely love the 2 bedroom villas, sometimes I even book them when there are just 4 of us. Having all that room, the full kitchen and the laundry is fantastic.

All we've done this far is the 2 bedroom villa at Saratoga and we really liked it. We're going with the in-laws again in October 2016 and are debating between Old Key West, Wilderness Lodge, and Bay Lake Tower. I know where I would like to stay, but am presenting the price points to everyone else this weekend.